Fibromyalgia is not about pain. Well, it is, considering it is characterized by pain, but there's more to it than just pain. There's the feeling of helplessness - anything you do causes pain. And if it doesn't cause pain today, it may very well do so tomorrow. There's the depression that comes with being so overwhelmed by every single activity and responsibility. Checking email becomes an impossible task. Responding to text messages is anxiety ridden and requires several drafts before the final can be sent if I respond at all. I've also lost all athletic ability that I had. Stairs are the enemy. Driving is the enemy. I'm exhausted for the rest of the day from simply going to get the mail. It's frustrating and, in my opinion, absolutely ridiculous.
But I cannot allow it to rule my life. I cannot pause my life until I have this under control. I have to live mindfully. I cannot pass up an opportunity that will enrich my soul due to fear of pain. I cannot give up something today in fear of missing something tomorrow. Every day is a way for me to get stronger, both in body and mind. I need to be aware of my needs, and be able to express them to those around me.
Perhaps this is the Universe telling me that I need to learn to ask for help.
Just a thought.
Be well,
Gingko
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