Friday Favorites

Happy November!

Let's start off November thinking about ourselves and how we see ourselves - what has happened to our self esteem?  I know my boy has to remind me daily that I am beautiful - because I simply cannot see what he does.  I know I've been brainwashed by the media and what society considers "beautiful", and now I'm on a path to figure out how to take that back.

Let's start with the lies we tell ourselves to be liked.  These are the lies that we feel we need to tell in order for people to consider us "worthy".  Why can't we just be worthy because of who we are?  I definitely struggle with this - while I don't lie about where I went to college, I know it's not what was "expected" so I say it with a bit of a grimace.  I've gotten better about it - it was probably one of the best decisions I've ever made in my life, but it does not fit into the image I thought I needed to have in order to have people think well of me.

I think knowing the real Jessica Rabbit is important - she had a manufactured image.

His first move was to have three expensive dresses made for her — without backs. He then titled his client “The Back” and had her appear at previews and parties in her plunging creations. Soon local photographers zeroed in on Miss Dougan’s bare spinal column, and gagsters began originating such cracks as, “Vikki Dougan makes the best exits in town.”

Petra Collins wrote a beautiful article after her instagram profile was deleted....

To those who reported me, to those who are disgusted by my body, to those who commented "horrible" or "disgusting" on an image of ME, I want you to thoughtfully dissect your own reaction to these things, please think about WHY you felt this way, WHY this image was so shocking, WHY you have no tolerance for it. Hopefully you will come to understand that it might not be you thinking these things but society telling you how to think.

Are you as horrified as I am that these are the autocompletes for Googling "Women"?

This article had a few paragraphs that hit me really hard:

The world doesn’t owe us a big compliment about the way we look, but we should be able to feel good about ourselves, and it would help a lot if we weren’t being told all the time that our appearances were really important. Maybe the most important thing about us. In practically every book I read as a kid where there was a male protagonist, his love interest would be the prettiest girl around. It was like that was the baseline requirement. She had to start out effortlessly being the prettiest, and then after that she could have a personality. Beauty sounded like something all the really awesome girls automatically had.

This program in NYC is the best thing I've heard about in a while.  LONG LIVE BEAUTIFUL REAL GIRLS!  

Sleepy Sleepy Sleepy

I went to the sleep doctor yesterday... apparently, I definitely have some sort of sleep disorder.  It could be narcolepsy, sleep apnea (unlikely, but still possible), or a fancy name for Unknown Sleep Disorder.

Now, when I think of narcolepsy, this is what jumps into my head:



But that's close to what I've been experiencing... the sudden, uncontrollable urge to sleep.  I can fight it with the right combination of physical activity, mental activity, and general "upbeat" atmosphere (I find that music with a good, moving beat and no lyrics helps), but there's only so long I can fight it without consequences - I begin to fall apart.  My body begins to give out - I get shaky; I get nauseous; the pain increases.  My mind stops being able to function: words are lost, concentration shattered.

I need to sleep.

And I sleep anywhere from 10 minutes to 6 hours.

Sometimes all day.

It's devastating.

And anything I do can have lasting effects - days where I cannot do anything but nap and lie around.  I am hoping to try a 5k this weekend just to try.  It'll be the slowest I've ever done, but I will have done it.  That's the plan at least.  I need to prove to myself that I can be something other than this ghost of myself and that yes, I will get back to where I was physically.

Wednesday Wishlist

This week's wishlist is all about Etsy finds.  I love supporting independent business owners who are following their passions.



Though I tend to express my Leo side in more subtle terms, this ring would remind me that I am tied to the stars as are we all.

Holy Octopi!   This plush is just too adorable to pass up - customizable too!

My heart has been in so many states - these charms could be added to the necklace I already wear everyday to remind me of where my home has been.

I find this monogramed green hair bow would go perfectly with... well, everything.

And how adorable is this monogramed infinity scarf?

How wonderful could it be to own a Phi Rho CT long sleeve shirt?

And this bib/medal hanger would solve a serious problem with what to do with my race bibs and medals!

This week's Playlist

Curtesy of Spotify



AWOLNATION – Sail
Imagine Dragons – Radioactive
Robin Thicke – Blurred Lines
Sara Bareilles – Brave
Phillip Phillips – Gone, Gone, Gone
Britney Spears – Work B**ch
Ylvis – The Fox (What Does The Fox Say?)
Katy Perry – Roar
Imagine Dragons – It's Time
Avicii – Heart Upon My Sleeve

Weekly Goals!

Let's see how we did last week on our (my) goals:

1. Finish spray painting the other nightstand and put in place
2. Create a bedtime routine that includes going through one magazine before bed
3. Go to the bank and get quarters and continue working on mount washmore
4. Move the boy's bookcase to the new corner and begin the process of filling it with cookbooks and canned goods
5. Begin cleanup of second bedroom aka removing obvious trash.  

Number 1 - Accomplished!  I made a bit of a mistake that ended up looking really cool - did you know that clear spray paint is not actually a coating for other spray paints?  It'll actually make the original paint alligator all over the place... plus it got a bit of rain on it.... so what did I do to fix it?  Add spray paint in navy over the white - and it came out looking like the sea (at least that's what I'm telling myself it looks like).  Either way the boy loves it so that's what matters most.

Number 2 - Working on it.  At this point I'm usually so exhausted by the time I get to bed that I just crash and pass out almost instantaneously or I play on my phone until I get too tired to function.  So that's an in progress......

Number 3 - Done and done!  Woot!  Got a bunch of laundry done this weekend.

Number 4 - DONE!  WOOOOOO!!!!!! Now I have a bookshelf right next to my desk that matches (it's white!).  Oh Ikea.....

Number 5 - Did a teeny tiny bit... so it's going back on for next week.  I SHALL CONQUER IT!  


So this week:

1. Create a bedtime routine that includes going through one magazine before bed
2. Continue working on mount washmore
3. Begin cleanup of second bedroom aka removing obvious trash
4. Hang two things on the gallery wall
5. Organize and photograph my desk so you can see the improvements! (they are many!)

Full of Anxiety

Doctor's appointment yesterday.  Disappointing as per usual.  I know I shouldn't be looking for a miracle cure, but I am.  I really am hoping that one of these pills or one of these studies will come up with a EUREKA moment for the doctor, and he/she will subscribe something tangible for me to be doing to be getting rid of this endless fatigue.

I live in a fog.  The "I've woken up in the middle of the night because I need to pee, get a glass of water etc" kind of fog.  I try to keep just how exhausted I am from the general public because one must keep up appearances as much as possible, but it's wearing down my spirit.  I know I'm supposed to keep my chin up and keep on keeping on, but as the number of doctors increases with no real answers... It's a bit difficult.  Because now I'm to go get a sleep study done to see if that's the main cause.  Now, I'm beginning to feel that there's real issues with my brainpan.  

The boy says it's progress, and I suppose on one hand it is, but on the other - it just means that one more doctor doesn't know what to do with me.  Which causes much anxiety.

I am going to say that my anxiety is moderate to severe because it does impact my day to day life.  I worry about what people are going to think of me.  I worry about money.  I worry if my shoes really do match my outfit.  I worry about the people I love.  I worry that I'll never get better.  

I am extremely anxious in crowded areas.  I am afraid that I will offend someone simply by existing in their path.  It's ridiculous, I know, but I get overwhelmed and fearful of people.  Now, I know that on average people are wonderful.  I try to set an example by interacting with people with overt kindness.

For instance, I was buying glass floating frames to hang stuff for my gallery wall (I cannot wait to show you when it's done!), and while checking out, the cashier accidentally broke one of the frames.  The frame that happened to be the last in the store.  She was so apologetic, and I was nonchalant about it - glass breaks.  It wasn't her fault; I wasn't angry; I wasn't in any hurry to get anywhere, and I was sure it would be remedied satisfactorily.  As I was getting my library card (#57 on the 101 in 1001 list), the guy who was setting up my profile was new and just learning the software and kept messing up.  He kept apologizing, and again, I kept telling him that it was no big deal that I was in no hurry, and I could definitely deal with my last name being my first name.  It's all on my photo ID, right?

Do other people do this?  From what I see, people are grouchy and impatient - wrapped up in their own little worlds.... completely unaware of the struggle and embarrassment of others.  What kind of world have we created?

Wow, this was not the way I thought this post was going to go, but that's ok.  It's all part of the same thing.  How I interact with the world.

Does anyone else feel like this?  I'd love to know I'm not alone in my anxiety.

I also try to battle my concern about makeup (how people see me) by wearing the brightest pink lip crayon I own when I'm sitting at my desk.  It came in one of my Ipsy (Affiliate Link) bags and it is Pop Beauty's Pouty Pop Crayon in Fuchsia Flirt.   I couldn't find it on its own, but it looks like it could be in that Ulta link.  Let's just say it's really bright.

Uhm, so yea, that's the best one where I didn't look like a crazed zombie.  Also - check out the new glasses!  Super snazzy!  And you can also see the beginning of the gallery wall... all like six pictures.

Gah!  Pictures of me!  Facing the camera!  Making a face!  Those four statements pretty much sum up all photos of me ever.  

Friday Favorites

Absolutely amazing - the wonders of the world.

I love how this woman reacted to a douchebag commenting on whether or not she was wearing a thong

And this traveling campaign Stop Telling Women To Smile is along the same lines as making random "complimentary" (aka derogatory) comments to women people see.

It's horrifying that women and girls are so hateful towards themselves and their bodies.  This article on Huffpost shares some seriously scary statistics.

Women have cellulite. All of them. It's dimply and cute. It's not a defect. It's not a health problem. It's the natural consequence of not consisting of photoshopped pixels, and not having emerged from an airbrush.

 10 Signs Your Kitty Loves You - Hooray!  My fuzzy children are happy and love me!!!

Staying Healthy on the go is extremely difficult.  The widget from Real Simple can help make better snacking choices based on where you are snacking and what you are craving.

Dustin Hoffman just became my hero.  Watch this video.

There are too many interesting women that I have not had the experience to know in this life because I have been brainwashed

Wednesday Wishlist

 So I've been stuck in a rut because my apartment is just SO cold and I refuse to turn on the heat until it's properly cold out and waking up and working from a 66 degree apartment is just not cool at all.  So I've been in pj pants and a hoodie.  I feel like maybe if I dressed up more to sit around and do actual work that I'd be a lot more productive.  I had this rule in college when I was applying for jobs where I would never take a phone interview in my pajamas.  I got dressed to the nines for that call.  And two calls in - I got a job.  It's all about how you feel about yourself during times of stress.  And what's better than feeling like you look fantastic - it's one less thing you have to worry about.  (That nuisance little voice in your head can just shush itself for a little bit while you concentrate on more important things).  Here's what I should be wearing:

What I should be wearing by gingkoscience featuring plaid button up shirts

J Crew elbow patch sweater
jcrew.com

Plaid button up shirt
factory.jcrew.com

J.Crew mid rise skinny jeans
factory.jcrew.com

TOMS slipon shoes
$53 - gravitypope.com




Unfortunately, the shirt is in the wash, and I am not wearing jeans around my house... just because I'm ever so slightly overweight and nothing fits comfortably... and I don't own that sweater... but that's the kind of stuff I should be wearing instead of the hoodie from a college I didn't go to......

Anyways...

I seem to be on a jewelry kick right now because this bracelet is calling my name.  And the midi rings from Catbird? Perfection.

This chick gets me when it comes to sweets, and the person who can find me these would be elevated to ultimate food finder status (it comes with a sweet sticker!)  And who can say no to cinnamon apple cookies? Clearly not me.


As I'm about to slipcover my couch (in a lovely navy blue), this dvd may or may not be extremely helpful.

Dr. Scholl's Active Insoles

I received Dr. Scholl's Active Insoles for free in exchange for my honest opinion from Influenster

I should start off by saying I'm a barefoot runner.  I wear vibram fivefingers  and absolutely adore them.  I've been known to take off on trails completely barefoot.  So the idea of using insoles was... foreign to me.

I should have known something was wrong when I tried to put them into my usual Bikilias....

Ok, what is wrong here?  They just don't fit.  They are NOT made for my shoes.  In fact, they say they add padding to help minimize pain... I'm a fully anti-padding person.  I'll take the "pain" that any beginner runner feels because it makes me stronger to the point that I have run quite a few road races, obstacle course races, and triathlons in these things.  No, I am not some crazy hippy, I just use what minimizes my pain - and surprisingly, using these minimizes my pain.   So I love them.  

Luckily, I also have some Nike Free 2(?)s that they fit into quite well.  The green things are the original insoles that I removed to place these in there.  

I didn't go running as my illness won't let me quite yet, but I walked around in them quite a bit.  At first I was VERY aware of the arch support.  As someone with relatively flat feet who spends as much time as possible as close to barefoot as is socially acceptable, I found the arch support disconcerting and uncomfortable.  

I didn't walk very far in them - maybe 1-3 miles, and by the end, my feet were killing me.  I was in PAIN.  I immediately felt better once I removed the shoes from my feet and sat down on the couch.

Bottom line: Not for minimalist/barefoot runners!  

Apple Picking!

Gotta have a little fun when you see one of these!!!

So we went apple picking on Saturday.  Well, I went apple picking, and the boys wandered around trying to walk off their hangovers.  I had a blast and kept finding trees with low-down apples that I could actually reach!  

Yep, I picked most of those. The guys managed about six apples.

I have now promised to make just about every apple baked product known to man.... Hellloo Pinterest!

Also, time to totally check off #61!

Booya, making progress!

Weekly Goals

Let's recap last week's goals and discuss them:

1. Clean out behind the couch in preparation for the large wooden bookshelf move to the other side
2. Finish spray painting the nightstand and install the new drawer pull
3. Go through and throw out one magazine a day
4. Do a load of laundry a day
5. Start spray painting the desk

Number one was accomplished with flying colors - I even moved the large bookshelf to the other side.  I'll post "In-progress" pictures of everything sometime soon.  It's such a difference to have the big wooden thing in a corner so that your eye isn't instantaneously drawn to its massive hulking darkness (not that it's its fault that it's just so massive and draws your eyes to it instantly, so that you forget you are in a high ceilinged room with a skylight).

Number two was also accomplished to completion.  I will have pictures as soon as I can clean up the mess I made from moving the bed around and whatnot.

Number three... not such a success.  I maybe made it through three magazines or so - definitely not one a day.  I am trying to integrate this into my bedtime routine so that I become more accustomed to it.

Number four - Did laundry three days - but I've run out of quarters so a run to the bank is necessary before I can continue on this task - it will continue on to the next week.

Number five - A ROARING success as I am now sitting on my newly spray painted and totally rad desk.  I just have to figure out how to put all the things I want on it and have it not look like someone just tossed a bunch of crap on a flat surface....


This week's goals:

1. Finish spray painting the other nightstand and put in place
2. Create a bedtime routine that includes going through one magazine before bed
3. Go to the bank and get quarters and continue working on mount washmore
4. Move the boy's bookcase to the new corner and begin the process of filling it with cookbooks and canned goods
5. Begin cleanup of second bedroom aka removing obvious trash.  

Playlist of the Week

I have a tendency to listen to the same music ad nauseam, so I'm going to try to expand my musical tastes by 10 songs each week.  I'd thought I'd post a spotify playlist here (if I can figure it out!!!) so that maybe you can discover some good stuff along with me.  I will always start off with a favorite song of mine that I believe everyone should be exposed to.

• Parmalee – Carolina
• Zendaya – Replay
• Avicii – Wake Me Up
• Zedd – Stay The Night - Featuring Hayley Williams Of Paramore
• Travie McCoy – Rough Water [feat. Jason Mraz]
• Jerry Douglas – The Boxer feat. Mumford & Sons and Paul Simon
• The Lumineers – Ho Hey
• Passenger – Let Her Go
• Imagine Dragons – Radioactive
• Lorde – Royals

Yep, this is my random as heck song list for the week.  Enjoy!

Apartment Organization and Update

So I've been working hard on creating the decor I want in my apartment.  But, I have a few hangups...

• Who in hell thought reupholstering the chairs wasn't super labor intensive?  Because I went into it thinking it was going to be a weekend operation..... LIES.... I'm only like 1/3 of the way through removing the fabric on ONE CHAIR
• I desperately need a new way to organize my scarf collection and Jade and Oak seem to have some FANTASTIC ideas.
• This series by Hollie might be just what I need to help me simplify my closet. 
• Gala Darling has something similar, but more step by step.
• AND I need to save up to work with this lovely lady with helping to design my second bedroom... aka the all-purpose/crap storage room.
• I'm hoping to have pictures of all of the alterations sometime soon so I can dazzle you (and my self) with how far I've come... so far it looks wonderful!  It's just not quite perfect yet.  

Erin came up with a fantastic tutorial for a halloween bat garland, and I think it would be perfect for adding a little halloween to my apartment.

I desperately need to spend more time on self care and that link has a bunch of great ideas.

Friday Favorites

What does the fox say?



GEEK OUT TIME SELF HEALING METAL AT MIT!!!!!!

Following up with Monday's post on boobs, here is another post on the way other people define us by our body shape from The Truth About Beauty.  Well worth the read.

In honor of the International Day of The Girl, read through this list on Huffington Post to realize just how lucky you are, and how many girls still need our help and support.

I really need to figure out how to sew my own monogramed nightshirts so I am not tempted to spend any money on lovelies like these.

Another super important list from HuffPost 25 Things Every Woman Should Know.  I follow that with GO GEEKS!

Dry ice bombs? Really, people, those pranks have got to stop.  I admire the scientific knowledge that as dry ice sublimates it will increase the pressure in the bottle enough to make it explode.

Muslim women are frequently seen in a less-than-complimentary light.  But, how do they see themselves?  This art exhibit is for us (and them) by them so that we may understand how they view themselves.

It's not only the toy industry thinking that to market to women and girls by making their product pink this thinking is rampant!  I am eternally grateful for toys like Goldie Blox who show young girls that they are "More than a Princess"!

Horror Movies

Note: this will be updated as I see fit.

Sooooo I may or may not have an unhealthy obsession with horror movies, both good and bad.  The Geek Girl Project has been listing 31 days of horror movie reviews, and I am determined to watch ALL THE THINGS!!!!

So far the list has included (I omitted a few that I was not going to be able to find) and I've noted all the ones I've seen.

1. Grave Encounters
2. Trick 'r Treat
3. Lost Lake
4. Session 9 (Seen)
5. Stir of Echoes
6. Grave Encounters 2 (Seen)
7. Silence of the Lambs (Seen)
8. Night of the Living Dead (Seen)
9. Poltergeist (Seen)
10. The Host

And these are some of my own favorites (pause while I go through my Netflix watched list):

1. Dawn of the Dead (2004)
2. Day of the Dead (1985)
3. State of Emergency
4. Land of the Dead
5. Diary of the Dead
6. 
   

Wednesday Wishlist

I'll have a cool logo for this page eventually..... right Dad?  He is the more graphically design-minded of the two of us.



I demand that someone make me this. And this! yummmmmm

This candle just might fulfill my requirement for apple/pumpkin and spice.  And have I mentioned how much I ADORE chai tea?

Whiskey, triple sec, sour mix and some lemon lime soda?  Sounds like a perfect drink.

Viola from Killer Colours came up with a list of smudge proof vibrant color pencils, and I want ALL OF THEM.

Next time I'm in the need of some lotion or soap (probably in the next century), I'll definitely be trying out Sugar And Spite Bathery.

These would be perfect on my couch as soon as I create that slip cover for it.

And how wonderful is this nautical monogrammed mug?

I LOVE LOVE LOVE these earrings.

Weekly Goals

Well, we've all gotta have some few little things to allow for some feelings of accomplishment over the week.  Nothing too big, just enough so that I feel as though I have made some progress in life.  

Now, I don't know if I've mentioned before, but my apartment is a Disaster.  And I do really mean DISASTER.  I'm in the middle of dealing with my illness, and attempting to transform my apartment from "temporary living space/dorm" to "an adult lives here on a more permanent basis".  It's not as easy as it sounds.  All these decor blog and magazines are like you do this and this and then POOF it looks amazing.... humbug.  I clearly do not have any sort of those kinds of genes/spacial awareness.  

Plus, this week is starting off pretty rough illness-wise so the goals will be relatively "easy".

1. Clean out behind the couch in preparation for the large wooden bookshelf move to the other side
2. Finish spray painting the nightstand and install the new drawer pull
3. Go through and throw out one magazine a day
4. Do a load of laundry a day
5. Start spray painting the desk

Anything else is bonus.  

Do you have any weekly goals that you'll be working on this week?  

Boobs

For some reason I was thinking about boobs last night.  More in the philosophical sense than in the actual sense.  Mine have always been a prominent part of my appearance.  

No matter what I'm doing, whether they're strapped down with a too small sports bra, they are IN YOUR FACE

Now, I know that this is a "high class" problem, and I shouldn't be complaining, and I'm really not - it's more of the fact that mammary glands are what a lot of people use as a high value factor for determining someone's attractiveness.  Check out Maxim's Hot 100 for 2013 they are all boob-tastic.  (Yes, that's the word I'm going to use).  

But what if we didn't have them?  What if I didn't have them?  What would make me attractive? Anthropologically speaking, they have a very necessary function in the reproductive cycle.  But since we have evolved from cavemen, they are less "necessary", but are still a focal (hehe) point on a woman's body.  

I really don't know why I've been spending so much time thinking about boobs and their effect on the way I interact with society.  Perhaps it is the focus of the media on them that has caused me to question my status in the "boob-world".  

Correction, I always have questioned my status in the "boob-world" because my boobs don't look like any others I have seen.  Friends have been envious of mine, while I was envious of theirs - theirs were normal and being normal is what I have always wanted.

I've always been self-conscious, and my boobs have definitely played a roll in that.  For some reason it's always been some sort of competition to have the biggest cleavage.  Now, I don't get that sort of cleavage that most people seem to be able to do..... 

via

Which, on one hand, sort of bothers me.  But at the same time... how could I function comfortably with those kinds of boobs?  

Boobs are a conundrum, friends, a conundrum.  Especially in our hyper-female-sexualized society.  

Do you have any thoughts on boobs?

Friday Favorites

I love that Janet Yellen's nomination isn't remarkable because she's a woman, but because she's a democrat.

26 things you may not know about one of my favorite movies ever, The Princess Bride.


I am in a very crafty mood lately and lighted cherry blossoms seem right up my alley... perhaps for beside the bed?

This essay about quitting hit me really hard this week.

If you don’t want to do something anymore, you don’t have to do it. Accomplishment for the sake of accomplishment is a waste. Does it feel incredible to achieve a goal? Of course – but only if that goal is something you truly want.

The battle for October: Breast Cancer vs Domestic Violence - why Breast Cancer "won".

This story is one of the reasons why I volunteer with Finding Shelter.

After spending many nights thinking about how in hell I can behave more adult and less like a confused college kid wearing mommy's adult shoes, I bought this book to get some guidance.

And this post from Jenn over at Epbot made me think about how my anxiety affects me.

Struggling with what to do to help people who are in serious need since the government shutdown?  The Bloggess gives several suggestions.

Wednesday Wishlist

I know it's way more than I would ever spend on a bed, but this one from Anthropologie is just beautiful.

I have a thing for elephants, and I think that this ring with it's lovely diamond eyes just makes me melt every time I look at it.

As my gallery wall grows, I'm always on the hunt for new stuff to put on it and anything from here would do nicely.  Or here.  Or this print! 

Who wouldn't love a wonderfully scented candle that may hold a diamond ring inside?



What are the things on your wishlist?

Challenges

via

Life is full of challenges, the trick is to choose your battles, so to speak.  Right now my biggest challenges are physical.  My body just isn't up to doing what I want to do.  And if I do attempt something that's beyond what my body decides its up to, I'm an invalid the day after.  And, of course there is really no knowing what my limits are.  So I've decided to throw caution to the wind and sign up for a couple of virtual races.

A virtual race is run on your own time on your own recognizance.  It's completely on the honor system that you will complete the distance in the time allotted to you.  Many virtual races allow for a couple of weeks for you do to the milage due to weather issues, timing issues, and people wanting to double dip their milage for another race.

I have signed up for two virtual races.  One is the Florida Halloween Halfathon and 5k where I will have between October 19 and November 3 to complete the 5k.  Totally doable, right?  I will likely not be running these, as I'm pretty sure my body is just not up for that, but walking 3.1 miles?  That feels like a reasonable goal.

The second virtual race is hosted by a blogger I greatly admire, Margaret Schlachter who writes Dirt In Your Skirt, a blog about obstacle course racing among other things.  She is hosting a Holiday Fifty or One Hundred Challenge where between the dates of November 25 and January 1, you run at least fifty or one hundred miles, depending on what you sign up for.  I have signed up for the Holiday Fifty because I feel that distance is doable in that time frame, even given my bodily setbacks.  Once I complete the fifty miles, I will consider myself ready to start training properly again.  I have been eyeing my TRX setup on my bedroom door just waiting to start.

I miss the feeling of accomplishment right after a good workout.

What races are you gearing up for?  Do you have any goals for the end of the year?  Let me know!  

Today in Short

Currently:

• Watching: Bones on Netflix
• Eating: I have been craving anything apple pie related.  Whether it be caramel apple ice cream to actual pie... really anything.  
• Drinking: I'm trying to get back into the habit of drinking liquids.  I have been amiss in making sure I am properly hydrated.  Need to find another water bottle that will hold my interest enough to make sure I actually use it.  
• Feeling: I'm exhausted.  The new "help me sleep" medication is... well, not helping me sleep at all.  
• Wanting/Needing:  Other than sleep, I would really like to be working on my wingback chair reupholstering project.  
• Thinking:  I really want to start taking OOTD pictures, but I definitely need to do laundry first.  
• Enjoying: Watching the leaves change on the tree outside my apartment.
• Wondering:  Whether painting my desk lime green is such a good idea in the grand scheme of things.  

I'm hoping to have a longer post later on in the week - I'm still trying to get used to this whole "blogging" thing and am going through some growing pains.  I'm hoping to start taking more pictures so this isn't just words on a page.  

xoxo,

Elspeth

Chicken Snuggling and other thoughts

Today, I leave you with a picture of me snuggling a chicken.  Why am I snuggling a chicken?  Because I was at the my CSA farm opening where one could hold chickens, and why would one not, given a choice, snuggle a chicken.  It's not like it's something everyone gets to do everyday.

I woke up on Saturday with a sense of purpose.  There are a lot of things happening, and I hope to have many pictures to show you as they take shape.

Wingback chairs are being given a new life; my couch will have a slipcover, and many other pieces of furniture will be moving around and finding new locations to be.  Now that I am finally living in one location for the next few years (until I am able to buy a house), I will be making it less like a half dorm half apartment to being an adult dwelling.

You know, because I'm an adult... or at least I pretend to be one most days.

xoxo,

Elspeth

Who am I?

I am having an identity crisis.

Well, I feel better now that it's out in the open.  I've been trying to find stationary in order to fulfill both #9 and #55 of my 101 in 1001 list, and I'm having trouble deciding what to get.  There are so many great choices out there, but I don't know what my aesthetic is.  What am I trying to say?  Who am I trying to be?  What is my personal branding?  Who am I?

I've been feeling very feminine in my color choices lately, leaning more towards pink. navy and green (and combinations of such).  I'm currently wearing a navy and green striped dress I picked up from The Gap.  (Yes, friends, I am at work in a dress... another nod to me embracing my feminine side)  My apartment decor plans have started to be less nebulous as I explore what I find aesthetically pleasing and why I dislike other things.  

I know I live for natural light, so I feel that my apartment should reflect that.  Right now most of my living room is inhabited by large, dark pieces of furniture.  They do not convey a sense of "light".  Instead, they clunk and I almost feel as though they are depressing me, being so large and dark.  That being said, I also need to be somewhat practical.  The furniture gets a lot of use, and I can't choose anything that will show too much wear.  I know it's just me and the lovely kitties, but man, those guys shed like CRAZY, and if I'm not up on my cleaning game, it'll become a giant mess of cat hair.  Cat hair everywhere!
Quite a bit of my furniture is from Ikea or is Ikea-like in it's construction.  I've been looking up how to paint those.  I think having those painted will make such a difference.  The internet is filled with amazing "after"s where people have taken something meh or horrid and turned it into something cheery and lovely.  It's really inspired me to try to do something.  Of course, I'll agonize over it and whether it's the right pattern or colors or if so-and-so will be mad if I do it... etc.  But, this time I'm feeling way more confident in my ability to "go with my gut" on this sort of thing that I might actually get around to doing something with it!  

I'd still like to work with an interior designer, just to see how they would translate what I see in my head for inspiration into reality.
As for my health, it's been a rough few days.  I've succeeded in going to work some days, and others I've been bed/couch-ridden due to the pain.  Overall, it seems I am ever so slightly better than last week.  Called the doctor today for the three week checkup since upping my fibro medication's dosage.  He's prescribed something different to try to help me sleep, and I'm to keep on keeping on with the fibro dosage.  Apparently it'll be easier to evaluate if it's really working once I can sleep through the night properly.  Makes sense.  I knew there wasn't going to be an easy fix to what ails me, and I'm in this for the long haul.  Once I start sleeping better, I'll begin working out to regain my strength.  

xoxo

Elspeth

Friday Favorites

Does anyone else think this is kinda what the Quiddich World Cup would look like to muggles?

I've never done drugs, and it worries me that people actually think this drug is a good idea.  Injecting that nonsense into your veins?  They're saying it's cheaper than heroine and just as addictive...

In the double-standard sexual culture we live in, how do you feel about the word slut?  This play is an exploration of the types of reactions people have to rape and the double standard.

As someone who struggles with ADD, I found this article comforting.

The idea that young adults, particularly women, actually have ADHD routinely evokes skepticism. As a fairly driven adult female who had found the strength to sit through biology lectures and avoid major academic or social failures, I, too, was initially perplexed by my diagnosis. My peers were also confused, and rather certain my psychiatrist was misguided. “Of course you don’t have ADHD. You’re smart,” a friend told me

I must be one of the few people not inextricably drawn to Paris, but this panorama of Paris at night is beautiful.

As someone who feels very close to the LGBTQ community, This video brought me to tears.  And this one made me smile.

Eventually I will explore the world and this list of 101 things to know, may be helpful.

I've seen this before, but the attention to detail and patience involved in these resin paintings just awes me.

Let's time travel for a bit with nikon.  Do you know what happened on this day in the past?

 10 random science facts for your Friday!

Bucket List item?  I think so!

What have you found on the wild interwebs this week?

Philanthropy

One of the things that was emphasized during my college years in Greek Life was philanthropy.  I bring this into my life after college in the form of volunteering for an animal shelter.  This is no ordinary shelter, but a foster-based shelter.  Where people help mostly abandoned and puppy mill survivors to find happy forever homes where they are loved.  The big event for this year is happening today so that is where I will be for the entirety of the day tomorrow.  I'm to man the raffle table for the day with backup for two of the dogs.  I'll be dreaming of the day I can afford one of the absolutely adorable Kate Spade Beau Bags.  

Apartment Decor

I have been thinking a lot about my apartment's decor.  Right now it's a mishmash of stuff that I have accumulated over the years.  Nothing is painted, nothing really goes together.  It's just in the only place I could think to put it.  But, as I have decided to make this my home until I buy a house, I must start putting things in an aesthetically pleasing way.  I've been obsessing on Pinterest trying to define a style so I can perhaps start making changes to the apartment.

My 101 in 1001 list touches on this - for instance, #2, #12, #13, #26, etc.  I want nothing more than to live in a space that I can be proud of.  A space that makes me excited to have guests.  Not flinch at the idea of what others see when they step into my place.

My apartment is wonderful, but it has its quirks.  I need to learn to work around it.  I'd love to pay attention to psychological effects of colors and bring in some feng shui.  I came across this infographic - and it's really interesting.

 

Courtesy of NowSourcing, Inc

I've been leaning towards green in my bedroom, so it's nice to see that there is a reason.  I have a big dresser that I adore, but that needs some serious TLC.  I am hesitant to do so because it belonged to my mother, and I don't want to screw anything up.  Another consideration is that it's old.  I think at one point my mom told me it was about 100 years old.  Even more reason to not want to screw anything up.  Also most of the alterations I would want to do require some sort of paint or staining or sanding or something that needs to be done in a well ventilated area.  My apartment is not a well ventilated area, and the weather doesn't really allow for stuff to happen for very long outside.  It's a conundrum.

I'll be sure to keep you in the loop while I go.

-Gingko

Friday Favorites

What I'm loving this week:

Friday Sept 27 2013 by gingkoscience featuring a green polka dot sweater

Have you tried Cookie Clicker? It's extraordinarily addictive.  You won't be able to stop!

Sometimes we all need a pick-me-up.  Gala Darling created this list of movies to cheer you up.

I just took out my TRX and set it up.  I walked the boy through a quick workout - he loved it.  Now I just have to create a schedule and stick with it.  Here's to getting back in shape!

I also need to start thinking about branding for my blog.  I'm not sure where to start so any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!  I guess I might want to wait on this just a bit until I get a feel for what I'm going to do with this space.  My own space in the vast wilds of the interwebs.

What has been interesting to you this week?

-Gingko

Embracing Imperfections and Limitations

As a part of my 101 in 1001 endeavors, I will be watching ten TED talks.  This is the first one.

This talk resonated with me and made me think about what I consider to be my imperfections and limitations.  Places where my ability does not live up to my passions.  Most of the time it's my body that holds me back from the things I want/need to do.  Something that sticks out in my mind is a moment from the 2012 Vermont Spartan Beast.  I was probably most of the way through and was struggling down the mountain.  My knees hurt, my body hurt, and I had been racing for at least seven hours.  I was pushing forward because I felt that stopping was not an option, though I wanted it to end.  I was ashamed it had taken me so long to get to where I had been.

I asked the person running next to me (passing me) what time he had started (much later than I did).  And I laughed, it seemed the only thing to do.  He had clearly gone much faster through the course than I.  When I responded with when I had started, he looked at my limping gait and asked if I was ok.  I told him of my struggles with Lyme and whatnot, and he looked at me in awe.  He told me that I was really beating him because I got extra time simply because I was attempting this with the Lyme.

I was doing well, given what I had been given.  Just because people say you won't be great going along the way they think everything should be done.  You have to find your own way to do things - things that allow your "limitations" to become your strengths.

-Gingko

101 in 1001

101 in 1001

These are not bucket list items.  These are meant to be everyday things that expand and enrich my life.  I give myself 1001 days to complete the 101 items.  So, they should be done by June 16, 2016

1.  Create the list  (September 2013)

2.  Finish my wall of art 

3.  Set up a schedule for posting on the blog

4.  Start taking "outfit of the day" shots to create a section on the blog

5.  Wardrobe overhaul

6.  Invest in a classic handbag

7.  Drink 8 glasses of water (or 1 gallon) every day for one week

8.  See all the Harry Potter movies

9.  Send fifty handwritten notes (6/50)

10. Visit a city I've never been to before

11. Revisit Boston

12. Catch up on all the magazines I have

13. Throw out or donate twenty things and do not replace them

14. Create an official address book with friends' and family's information

15. Send out Christmas Cards

16. Spend a day with siblings doing whatever they want, all paid for by me

17. Wear makeup for every day for twenty-one days

18. Make ten recipes off of Pinterest

19. Send my mom and stepmom flowers out of the blue

20. Learn calligraphy 

21. Read 100 new books

22. Get a facial

23. Get my nails done for Orchid Ball

24. Get new glasses (October 2013)

25. Go camping

26. Revitalize five pieces of furniture 4/5 (Nightstand x2, Desk, Makeup container  - October 2013)

27. Go to the top of the Empire State Building

28. Go zip lining

29. Have a friend take a portrait for my blog

30. See ten "classic" films

31. Get a DSLR camera

32. Find out my blood type

33. Go skydiving

34. Finish my Renaissance Faire costume

35. Volunteer at a soup kitchen

36. Donate old clothes 

37. Surprise the boy with something special

38. Donate money to a friend's charitable cause (September 2013)

39. Clean out kitchen

40. Run a 10k

41. Develop an exercise regimen and stick to it for 21 days

42. Take a yoga class

43. Visit five new states

44. Learn how to shoot a gun

45. Learn to snowboard

46. Write a short story

47. Have boudoir pictures taken

48. Give twenty "just because" gifts

49. Achieve target weight

50. Research Dad's side of the family back to immigration to USA

51. See one of the wonders of the world

52. Visit ten new museums

53. Work with an interior designer (or design-minded friend) for one room in my apartment

54.  Work on Inbox Zero

55. Get personalized stationary 

56. Buy a Hermés scarf

57. Join the local public library (October 2013)

58. Floss everyday for one month

59. Purchase and learn photo editing software

60. Go tubing on a river

61. Go apple picking (October 2013)

62. Make my college t-shirt quilt

63. Pay off credit card debt

64. Put together a master birthday calendar and send birthday cards

65. Get up without pressing snooze for one week

66. Avoid eating out for one month

67. Participate in 31 days

68. Build a wardrobe look-book

69. Make 20 things off of Pinterest (not food)

70. Learn to throw a football

71. Discover 30 new restaurants

72. Complete a blog challenge (like A-Z, Something from here, etc)

73. Buy myself flowers every week for a month

74. Spend a week Facebook free

75. Figure out a way to showcase my jewelry

76. Go paintballing

77. See the northern lights

78. See a movie in the theatre by myself

79. Go Geocaching

80. Complete 30 miles in 30 days challenge

81. Leave 100% tip

82. Have my palms read

83. Design the blog to reflect my personal style/content

84. Unsubscribe from as many email services as possible

85. Subscribe to one more style magazine

86. Subscribe to one good home DIY magazine

87. Subscribe to one good cooking magazine

88. Take a free online class

89. Start donating monthly to the Phi Rho Foundation

90. Attend a meetup.com group

91. Dye my hair

92. Finish writing the book

93. Watch 10 different TED talks and review/talk about them on the blog (1/10)

94. Micro-finance 10 female-owned businesses via Kiva

95. 200 Sit Ups challenge

96. 200 squats challenge

97. Write a letter to myself to open on my 30th birthday

98. Buy something from Tiffany's

99. Find an updo and make it my go-to

100. Take one class a season

101. Save $20 for each goal accomplished

Today is about balance

Learning to balance this illness with what I want to do is difficult.  If I do too much, I'm out of the game the next day and possibly the day after as well.  If I don't do enough, I feel as though I'm giving in to the pain.

I also need to balance life and work.  This is something I have always struggled with.  For me, it seems like it's an either-or proposition.  Either I work OR I have a life.  And, unfortunately, work has always been the priority.  I believe it's the need to be successful in tangible ways that drives me.  As though my status in life is a contest with my peers.

I also have a tendency to downplay accomplishments that I consider to have been "easy".  It usually isn't until someone points out how it wasn't as simple or easy as I had been telling myself - that truly, it was something to be proud of - that I begin to see it as an accomplishment.  I suppose i have different ways of viewing things than everyone else.  There are things that need to be done, so you buckle down and make sure they get done - regardless of their difficulty.

I need to get out of the house for more than just work.  So yesterday I went to a live podcast recording of Sex Nerd Sandra at Tabu in Philly.  It was wonderful.  Less educational and more laughter and being open about sex and boundaries and what makes people uncomfortable.  Also a big discussion as to whether pouring H2O2 into your vagina while on your period would be a good idea.  And what H2O2 actually does to blood.  I laughed and really enjoyed myself.

I also discovered my new go-to drink when I'm in a gin kind of mood - a pink elephant.  I believe it's made of grenadine and gin - delicious.  Perhaps a bit of lime.

What I wore last night:

JCrew Factory Popover (only I wore it in red... can't find that on the site)

And jeans with my new Toms shoes.  I brought a jean jacket with me as it was a bit chilly.  Also, this is officially my new favorite shirt.  It's so beyond comfortable, and I don't look like a complete slob (always a good thing).  This is an adventure in dressing for me - not worrying about what other people might think about what I'm wearing, whether it makes me look "fat", but whether I like wearing it.  I want to be comfortable and confident in the clothes I'm wearing.  It seems like a no-brainer, but I've evolved so much that I'm not sure where my tastes lay right now.  So I'll experiment.  

Right now I'm leaning towards a preppy-eqsue look.  I'm loving monograms and really want something to wear my sorority letters on.  Seeing the letters the college girls around my town wear makes me miss wearing my own.  I doubt I'll wear t-shirts and hoodies like in college, but I'd go for subtle things - a lavalier or polos or something.  I haven't decided.  Plus, anything I get has to be custom because most places don't carry my sorority.  Alas.  

-Gingko